Grieving Miscarriage: Gentle Ways to Honour Your Loss and Rebuild Hope

Miscarriage is one of the most painful experiences a woman can go through. It can feel like the rug has been pulled out from beneath you, leaving you with grief that is both visible and invisible. While friends and family may not always know what to say, your loss is real, your emotions are valid, and your heart deserves the same care as your body.

As a fertility therapist, I’ve not only walked alongside many women (and couples) through this heartbreak, but also experienced recurrent miscarriages myself over the span of my personal fertility journey (read my story here). Grief after miscarriage is complex and isn't something to be rushed through before trying to conceive again (said from experience). Miscarriage isn’t just the loss of a pregnancy, but the loss of dreams, hopes, and the future you imagined for yourself and your loved ones. Healing takes time, gentleness, and permission to move at an intuitive pace.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel Everything

Grief after miscarriage can show up in waves — sadness, anger, numbness, even moments of relief or guilt. Every emotion is valid. Rather than pushing feelings down, give yourself permission to sit with them, knowing they will ebb and flow. Accepting your feelings are normal and just, rather than fighting, resisting or numbing them.

2. Honour Your Baby in a Way That Feels Right

Creating rituals can provide comfort and acknowledgment. This might look like:

• Lighting a candle on significant dates.

• Planting a tree, flower, or creating a small memorial space.

• Writing a letter to your baby.

• Naming them, even if privately, to give your experience recognition.

• A piece of jewellery with a birth stone to honour your lost child.

These symbolic acts can help transform invisible grief into something tangible and healing.

3. Seek Safe, Compassionate Support

You don’t have to carry this alone. Whether through a fertility therapist, support group, or a trusted loved one, talking about your experience helps validate it. If well-meaning people say things that hurt (“at least you know you can get pregnant”), remember you can set boundaries and seek spaces where your grief is truly understood. ***I will also say that if you do join a group ensure you are not left feeling more depleted or anxious - some are better than others.

4. Care for Your Nervous System

Miscarriage is not just an emotional loss — it’s also a physical and nervous system shock. Gentle practices can help your body regulate and recover:

• Restorative breathwork.

• Guided meditation or hypnosis.

• Gentle movement like yoga, stretching, or walking.

• Prioritising rest and nourishment.

These practices might not erase grief, but they do help your body feel safe again.

5. Releasing Fear and Rebuilding Trust in Your Body

For many women, one of the hardest parts after miscarriage is the fear of it happening again. This fear can linger in the body as tension, anxiety, and a lack of trust in yourself. I often see women who, after a miscarriage, find it difficult to fall pregnant again — not because their body isn’t capable, but because fear has taken hold and is creating resistance.

Through hypnotherapy and personalised emotional support, we gently release that fear, soften the tension, and rebuild trust in the body. With practical strategies and ongoing support, women often find themselves feeling more courageous, more confident, and more resilient. And when the body feels safe again, conception can become possible — often leading to a healthy pregnancy.

For women who experience recurrent miscarriages (as I did myself), this support becomes even more vital. The ongoing anxiety around testing, blood results, and ultrasounds can feel like a daily battle just to survive moment to moment. Having someone in your corner — someone to hold your hand, help you breathe through the panic, and remind you that you’re not alone — can be a godsend.

6. Be Mindful of the Meaning you Give your Experience

Just because you've had a miscarriage, does not mean that you're destined to have more, or that it's some kind of cosmic karma, or that you are in some way broken or incapable of having a healthy pregnancy in the future. Be mindful of the stories that you attach to the experience (your unconscious mind is always listening and your nervous system feels it). Your body is wise and capable and it innately knows when it's best to hold a pregnancy and when it's best to release (as harsh as that truth feels when you're in it). Recognising those rallied around you in your time of need. Your strength, resilience and the team work (if you're in a relationship). This doesn’t mean forgetting; it means allowing space for hope and new possibilities to co-exist alongside your grief.

You might try affirmations such as:

• “I honour my baby’s memory by living with love.”

• “My past does not define my future.”

• “I can hold both grief and hope in my heart.”

Grieving a miscarriage is deeply personal. There is no timeline and no “right” way to move forward. What matters is that you give yourself compassion, honour your loss in ways that feels meaningful, and know that healing is possible.

If you’re finding fear, tension, or mistrust in your body holding you back, personalised support can make all the difference. Hypnotherapy and fertility-focused psychotherapy can help reduce the fear of another miscarriage, restore calm, and build resilience and trust for the journey ahead. You don’t have to walk this path alone — you can book a session here.